Introduction: Why listen to me? My story
I will start by saying that quitting your job can be a very difficult decision to make. But, as in my case, it is possibly the most important decision of your life because it has the potential to change the trajectory of your life forever. For me, the decision was either to stay in my stable government job or go do something I had always fantasized about and become a truck driver. The argument for the government job was that it had great pay, great perks, was a job that others seemed to admire, and one for which I had acquired lots of expensive education. The job as a truck driver seemed to have a lot less going for it. It paid less, had longer hours, and people seemed less impressed by it.
It finally took me getting burnt out and my body and brain literally not allowing me to process the work anymore before I finally left. Now, I can look back and see that, even though the decision to quit and move on was hard to make at the time, now that I have done it, I can see all the signs were there to help me make the decision. Now, when I look back, I wonder why I didn’t make this decision even sooner. In this blog post I hope to share what I learned, show you the signs I missed, and hopefully help you with your decision of whether to stay at your current job or leave.
Reliving and Remembering the workday stress from a wiser, stress-free vantage point
A day resembling one of my office workdays
I recently had a day that resembled a typical work day I used to have when I worked in an office. I was delivering to a Target distribution center and the appointment time given to me of 6:00 a.m. was different from Target’s appointment time of 1:00 p.m.. Target informed me that they would not be able to unload my truck any earlier than my scheduled appointment time. Therefore, the 7 hours I needed to wait before my appointment, combined with the 2-4 hours unloading, meant that I would be waiting for the entire day. Fortunately, Target had a nice waiting area with tables, chairs, bathroom, and microwave where I promptly set up my workstation for the day because I actually had lots of work to do. I was in the middle of purchasing a new truck and it was July 3rd and I wanted to pick up the new truck on July 5th right after the July 4th Holiday. Since everyone was off for the holiday I had one day to get everything in place. The day turned out to be a whirlwind of a day. To secure the purchase, I was on the phone most of the day with personnel from the dealership, insurance company, bank, DMV, graphics and signage, and others. The day flew by as I checked off box after box. I was on the phone when Target finally called to tell me I was ready to check out. I yelled through the window that I would be there in a second. An hour later someone came to the window and asked me if I was going to retrieve my paperwork. As I collected the paperwork an hour late after being there all day, the shipping clerk and I both had a laugh as they had all heard me wheeling and dealing all day. The day was done and minus having made full payment, all was accomplished.
When generally un-stressed you can gain insight from one stressful day, but it doesn’t work in reverse. When generally stressed you cannot learn from one non-stressful day
After my full, fast-paced day at Target handling the business of trucking, I felt a mental fatigue that I had not experienced since starting my trucking company two years prior. At that time, I had just left the IRS and was still accustomed to a stressful pace so the stress of starting my company just felt normal. This time, however, I had been working blissfully stress-free for two years so I was able to acutely feel how taxing this type of work is for me. Trucking is so well suited to my perfect work style and pace, that now when I have the rare frenetic workday it’s glaringly obvious to me how stressed it makes me feel. I felt it so acutely because of the luxury of not experiencing it all the time. When I worked a traditional job, stress gradually increased over the years but I adapted to it. Because of this adaptation, it is hard to recognize how stressed I really was and how much it was impacting my body. It just seemed normal. But when it’s not the norm it becomes very obvious.
But unfortunately, it doesn’t work in reverse. When I was chronically stressed, I could not become stress-free in one day. One day or weekend off never provided any meaningful revelations on what it can feel like to exist stress-free on a regular basis. There was just too much residual stress built up and that type of stress doesn’t dissipate on a dime. Going from deeply stressed to deeply unstressed is not like a light switch to be turned on and off. It’s actually the same gradual come down as it was to come up. So unless a change in lifestyle occurs that gives the body and mind the time to get back to a stress-free baseline, it is very difficult to remember what it feels like.
Because I could only sense how stressed I really was in hindsight, leaving required a leap of faith
I saw an advertisement for therapy where the actress said “you don’t know you’re depressed until you are not depressed anymore.” That same statement can be applied to being stressed because often you don’t know how much you are stressed until you’re not stressed anymore. This especially applies to work stress because you accumulate more and more stress gradually over time as you attain more responsibility. This gradual accumulation can often take place over decades.
In my case, my intuition was alerting me that something was amiss but my continuous analyzing never provided spurred me to leave. The pros and cons equation just never seemed to be definitive enough to break through the inertia needed to force a change. So I pondered the decision for a very long time. But the thing I couldn’t know at the time is that I wasn’t factoring in all the variables because there would be many more pros revealed, but only after I left. Leaving my last job was like a leap of faith off of a mountain peak into the unknown. It wasn’t until I took the leap and descended through the clouds that I was able to behold what was hidden beyond. The clouds had shrouded an entirely new mountain with a higher peak than the one I had been on. I thought I was at the peak of the mountain, but there were other mountains with higher peaks of joy and financial success obscured by the clouds of stress and fear.
A Leap of Certainty by Heeding the Signs
Perhaps it doesn’t have to be a leap of faith, but can be a leap of certainty. There are signs along the way if you know where to look. I’ve heard people who have already taken this leap try to guide those still trying to make the decision to start a new path in life. They say it in different ways, but the message amounts to something along the lines of “move toward growth” and “follow your heart”. I believe this guidance is typically too nebulous. The problem with this is that until you actually make the change you may not recognize the things that your heart is saying to you. The signs are much easier to recognize in hindsight by a future, wiser you than the present, stressed-out you living it today. So I want to provide some actual signs that could be an indication that you need to make a change.
Your body and/or mind refusing to do the work
It just gets really really hard to do the work. I am a very self motivated person. A typical day for me is working out for a couple of hours in the morning, driving the big rig all day, and then working on my computer for another couple of hours either blogging or doing business administration. But I got to the point at my last job where I could not work for more than 30 minutes without falling asleep. I would be well-rested, and wanting to work first thing in the morning. I would sit down at my desk, start working on my computer and the next thing I knew I was waking up. I refused to listen to my body. I had never been a coffee drinker before but I started drinking coffee every day. Despite everything I tried, my brain was just like “no, I’m not doing this anymore. You can try all you want, but I’ll just put you to sleep.”
Making more mistakes and making dumber mistakes
After my whirlwind of a day sitting at Target organizing the purchase of a new truck, I felt a level of mental fatigue similar to what I would have felt at my former office job, but uncommon for me now as a truck driver. Because it had become uncommon, I was able to recognize its effects so clearly when it caused me to make a mistake I had never made before. For example, I noticed that Uber Freight had changed the delivery time on my load after I had picked it up. Assuming underhandedness, I called Uber to complain that the new time was jeopardizing my 100% on-time percentage. After reviewing the load with me, the Uber representative politely informed me that I was looking at the pickup time and not the delivery time. Confused, then ashamed, I realized she was right. That was a dumb mistake I had never made and would never make under normal circumstances. That’s when it became obvious to me that it was due to the mental fatigue and stress of the day. When I reflected on this later I realized that being tired and stressed had narrowed my vision and thinking, causing me to become very myopic. Ironically, in addition to causing mistakes, this is also how stressful jobs trap us. They sinisterly give us a myopic vision that keeps us from seeing the need to make the change. The more you work this way the less you can see a way out or a better way.
Lethargic Workouts with no Mind-Muscle Connection
Whether I work out before my drive or afterward, I usually have plenty of energy for my workout. My workouts make me feel younger and more vibrant and they are a part of my day I eagerly look forward to. However, my workout on the Target whirlwind workday was different. My workout was much more lethargic and there was much less mind-muscle connection. Because I had become accustomed to my energetic, youthful feeling workouts, this stark contrast was really apparent. This workout sparked my memory of when I worked a traditional job when this low-energy type of workout was the norm instead of an exception. During that time, I would dread going to workout after work. I would try to workout as quickly and efficiently as possible, trying to keep it under an hour, so I could rush home. At the time, I assumed the way I felt was just a normal part of aging. But now I know that my workouts can be energetic and very youthful when I am working a job I enjoy.
Daydreaming More Often
The last difference I noticed after the Target whirlwind workday was that I daydreamed a lot more. I regularly listen to educational material or brainstorm content for my blog as I drive. I usually prefer to stay on task and capitalize on my time behind the wheel. But after my frenetic day spent multitasking and performing office-like work tasks, I practically daydreamed the entire time while driving. The reason this stood out for me is because it reminded me that I frequently daydreamed before I started trucking. On work breaks I would find myself dreaming of winning the lottery, creating more and more elaborate scenarios for what I would do when I won. This was a form of escape from both the mental fatigue of work and from a circumstance in which I felt irrevocably stuck. I don’t daydream much now that I perform work that fulfills me and makes me happy. Now, all that energy that I spent daydreaming is transformed into productive creative energy toward the things that I am passionate about and interested in.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the decision to quit your job is one of the most significant choices you can make, and it often comes with a sense of uncertainty and fear. The signs may be subtle and easy to overlook in the midst of a stressful job. However, when you finally take that leap, you may discover hidden peaks of joy and fulfillment that were obscured by stress and fear.
The journey of self-discovery and transformation often involves recognizing signs such as physical and mental exhaustion, increased mistakes, lack of motivation, and daydreaming about a different life. The decision to leave a job can feel like a leap of faith, but it can also be a leap of certainty when you heed the signs and listen to your intuition.
Ultimately, as the saying goes, “Most people finally change when the fear of staying the same outweighs the fear of making the change.” It’s essential to remember that life is too short to remain in a job that drains your energy and stifles your potential. By recognizing the signs, trusting your intuition, and taking that leap, you can embark on a path that leads to a more fulfilling and rewarding life. As Jim Rohn wisely said, “For things to change for you, you’ve got to change.”