Introduction
Embark on a journey of road wisdom as I unveil insights to enhance your car karma. As a conscientious driver, I embrace the art of cultivating kindness on the road. Follow me as I help you learn how to weave an aura of calming peace and tranquility around your vehicle by extending goodwill through thoughtful gestures. Join me in exploring the transformative power of considerate driving, as I share anecdotes and practical tips to help you not only navigate the highways but also increase your car karma to keep you safer on the road.
Cultivate an Aura of Kindness and Safety
I like to imagine that, as a conscientious driver, I have an aura of calming peace and tranquility around my vehicle. I can extend this ring to other vehicles when I perform a polite gesture, such as slowing down to let another driver easily merge. My gracious gesture gives the other driver a momentary respite from the stressors of driving. In that moment of unexpected kindness, the driver becomes a little more at ease and my ring of peace extends outward, now encapsulating their vehicle as well as mine. Over time, as I perform more and more kind acts, my circle of peace encompasses more and more vehicles, evolving into a vast expanse. I believe that a more serene driver, induced by my courteous actions, is inherently a safer one to be around. Therefore, through my acts of kindness, I have created a large safe space around my truck.
Practice Red Light Generosity by Gifting Time and Flow
When faced with a red light and the lanes present a mix of waiting vehicles and empty spaces, the common choice is to switch to the open lane to avoid waiting farther back. However, I take a different approach driven by conscientiousness towards my fellow drivers. If I anticipate that the red light will require me to come to a complete stop, I opt to switch lanes and pull in behind the already stationary vehicles. I do this to give other vehicles the chance to time the light and travel freely through, hoping that at least someone has the chance to save time, fuel, and brake wear.
Give People the Opportunity to Change
I give people the space to change their mind. When approaching a fork in the road, we are forced to choose a path. Some approach the choice with hesitation, while others rush into decisions driven by overconfidence. Inevitably, some will choose a path they regret, only to change their mind shortly afterward. In this moment of transition, many fellow travelers, after witnessing someone make their selection, swiftly switch lanes or accelerate, seizing the vacated space and preventing the initial chooser from reclaiming their former position. They leave no space for someone to change their mind or have a change of heart. I act differently. I deliberately maintain a buffer, a safe space that allows someone the freedom to rethink their chosen path. While others might close ranks, I keep an open lane, understanding that decisions, once made, may need revisiting. This considerate gesture extends a lifeline to fellow drivers who may find themselves momentarily frenzied and confused. By creating a space for change, I contribute to a safer environment for everyone on the road.
Never Ask ‘Why Would Someone Do That?’, Refrain and Reframe Instead
Asking why is a waste of breath, thought, and energy. Most of the time, when traveling in a vehicle, information about other’s perspectives or intentions is limited. Without the opportunity to gather more information about them, there’s no way to know what type of person is in that other vehicle, and why they are behaving in that manner. Therefore, I refrain from speculating on their motives and asking ‘Why would someone (fill in the blank)?’, and instead reframe it as an opportunity to practice curiosity instead of judgment, patience instead of frustration, and compassion instead of scorn. I am grateful they gave me the opportunity to further develop these positive attributes in myself. I am proud that I have successfully diffused potential negative energy and prevented its spread.
Choose to See Fear over Aggression
When you’re driving and someone cuts you off, how do you react? A common response is to think that person is a jerk or is being aggressive. But as I mentioned above, because there is limited communication on the road, it is impossible to know with certainty the reasons behind someone’s behavior. The driver who appears to have cut you off may have been attempting a courteous gesture for someone else. Likewise, the driver who quickly cuts in front of you while merging on the highway might not be displaying aggression but is actually a timid and fearful driver who panics every time they have to merge on the highway for fear of not being able to merge in time. In these moments, it’s crucial not to jump to conclusions. Resist assuming the worst about another driver’s actions—avoid attributing it to meanness, aggressiveness, or self-centeredness, as you truly can’t be certain. Instead opt for a more generous perspective: assume that people are acting with the best of intentions. Assume that person is not intentionally cutting the line but was genuinely caught unawares. It is much easier to conjure compassion for a driver who you assume is merely afraid than for one who you assume is an aggressive jerk.
Apologize No Matter What, Even If The Other Person Is Clearly In The Wrong
Inevitably there will be moments of conflict along the road you will travel. Two drivers simultaneously vie for the same lane. A polite gesture towards one driver inadvertently inconveniences another. One is traveling too slowly and detaining a hurried driver. In these situations, the other driver may make gestures chosen to convey offense or assign blame. The other driver may intentionally glare in my direction or gesticulate reprovingly when they are the one either clearly in the wrong or perhaps just unaware of the nuances of the situation. At this moment, I can choose to glare and gesticulate in turn, or I can choose a conciliatory, more soothing approach, using apologetic gestures instead. I choose to apologize no matter what. While driving, communication with fellow drivers is limited, hindering the chance to provide context or clarify moments of conflict. In the absence of the opportunity for further communication or clarification, perception often becomes reality. When I apologize with a head bow or by tapping my chest while mouthing “my bad, my bad”, I am changing the perception and therefore reality for that other driver. This works wonders and an angry, offended driver often becomes an ashamed or placated one. I have found this to be the most powerful and effective way to diffuse tensions on the road and prevent instances of retaliation to me or my truck, thus safeguarding my person, my business, and my livelihood.
Slow Down to Prevent the Fast Lane from Becoming the Crash Lane
Sometimes when traveling on the highway, some of the lanes experience a traffic backup, slowing to a crawl or a standstill, while other lanes remain free-flowing. This can create a situation where one lane is going much faster than the lane right next to it. When this occurs, I often witness people speed up in the free-flowing lane to dissuade people in the stopped lane from entering their lane and slowing them down. When you do this, you’re just setting yourself up for disaster. Inevitably, someone will creep out anyway and you’re just going to have to slam on the brakes, risking a rear-end collision. When the lane next to me is stopped but mine is flowing, I preemptively slow down. Admittedly, this does entice more drivers to flee the slow lane, but I don’t begrudge their escape. I am happy I could increase my car karma by helping my fellow motorist, while also preventing a collision, avoiding hard braking, and saving wear on my truck’s brakes.
Be A Good Steward To The Cautious, Safe Driver
I often see the following scenario. A driver in the right lane is going well below the speed limit. Next, a typical highway driver, driving at normal highway speeds, attempts to pass. Next, a driver driving well above typical highway speed rushes up behind the driver attempting to pass. The driver attempting to pass becomes nervous and cuts over way too soon, swerving dangerously close in front of the slower driver on the right. During these instances, I don’t think people are fully aware of what’s happening. When someone swerves in front of a slower driver, they are accommodating a more reckless and risk-taking driver at the expense of a more cautious and careful one. The reckless driver is likely much more at ease driving closely behind you than the cautious driver is with you pulling closely in front of them. Essentially, this is like taking up for the bully on the playground. Why hold the door open for Junior and slam it in Granny’s face?
Conclusion
As I navigate through the highways, I am not merely a driver; I am a steward of safety, a weaver of peace. The philosophy is simple: through a continuous stream of courteous actions, we can transform the roadways into sanctuaries of understanding, where each driver plays a role in creating a safer, more harmonious driving experience for all. May the lessons shared here inspire a ripple effect of positive driving habits, fostering a community of mindful and considerate drivers on the open road.